Television Reno 911!

101 PILOT
1,2: Haha: Surprise! (Shot!)
1: "Which n*#$%! took the last donut?" - Wiegel, 2: LOLOL
2: Haha: "Can you... can you bring me four more?" - male victim
1: Man, I love being a cop. (marijuana)
1: Pez in my belly button
1: NEXT WEEK: Jones, Johnson, Williams
1=20100609 ~12:30PM-~12:51PM
2=20160722

Lieutenant James Ronald Dangle (Thomas Lennon) (E101)

102 FIREWORKS
OPENING: vanity plate: md4k9 (he's a vet)
That's what's happening (mace). Hey hey hey.
Those will give you a yeast infection.
LOL: joking with the Jehovah's witnesses.
Welcome to California sign.
What makes this show great, is how much it resembles Cops.
LOL: they're playing around point their guns at each other
LOL: the guy came back and maced him some more!
Haha: Playing with fireworks.
LOL: blows the truck as you would have hoped.
NEXT WEEK: he's got an apparatus strapped to my head; naked; I did something!
CREDITS: stay away from my bleeping tamales. popcorn. no we're not replacing tamales. what about bleep.
20100609 ~01:36PM-~01:57PM

103 EXECUTION TICKETS
2: Haha: Tricked the pizza guy into speeding.
2: "He likes white chocolate I think."
2: "You are by far the vest looking hooker in Reno." "Obrigado!" "And now you're going to jail."
2: Smile: Fresh tattoo
2: Haha: Releases the William's hooker.
2: NEXT WEEK: Benihana
2=20160722

104 CLEMENTINE'S PREGNANT
OPENING: vanity plate: imaxxy (I am a hermaphrodite)
Clementine Johnson
LOLOL: Dangle had them disrobe.
Smile: Phone book.
LOLOLOL: (kid falls off building when the ramp collapses; cause: the cops bet the kid he can't)
[I heard CB watching this scene: Leonard Nimoy, Chachi]
Smile: I got to clean my juices off.
I like how the camera crew becomes part of the show.
Haha: Leafblower.
Haha: Sex offender, whatever that means.
Haha: Dangle and Johnson
Haha: I should explain; Weigel's fucking crazy.
CREDITS: can you check my sclerosis. LOL: Can your test show if an adult women is retarded.
20100609 ~02:20PM-~02:41PM

Deputy Clementine Johnson (Wendi McLendon-Covey) (E101)

105 JONES GETS SUSPENDED
quote fingers "daydream"
Haha: I sell oranges. (with a lisp)
Haha: You Santa don't it. (with a lisp)
Ooo: You want to do it?
LOL: Dangle is gonna see Jones. Ray's Jones.
LOL: Pulled his underwear off.
LOL: You can be rest assured that at some point, everyone of you is gonna be raped.
Smile: I got you a bear.
LOL: His bike again.
LOLOL: I'm stuck in here.
CREDITS: Pap smears
20100609 ~01:58PM-~02:19PM

106 HELP FROM THE FBI
OPENING
Haha: Tear gas.
LOL: I failed the test to be a member of a book club (Weigel)
Haha: 911.
Haha: S.A.F.E.
Haha: Johnson stands behind the FBI agent in a sexy manner
[This episode wasn't that great]
CREDITS: Weren't that great, they're just playing around with the mics
20100609 ~02:42PM-~03:03PM

107 WIEGEL SUICIDE WATCH
Haha: Wiegel just repeats the English parts. And then she left the car on in the garage.
CPT = Color People's Time
Haha: So we gonna bleep or what?
Lol: the stuffed cat
Haha: Do you want to spoon.
Haha: Show me your bleep. Which is street talk for bleep.
Lol: I'll show you the bleeper.
ooo: Garcia and Ray
WIKI 102's next week of "I did something" happened!
Smile: Trudy curses
CREDITS: weren't too funny, they're doing a crossword puzzle together. And then something that was supposed to be racist.
20100609 ~03:04PM-~03:25PM

Deputy Trudy Wiegel (Kerri Kenney-Silver) (E101)

108 CLEMENTINE GETS MARRIED
OPENING: vanity plate: iwuvmyk9
We don't live in communist China.
LOL: I got a note here. There are two armed men inside. (But interpreted as two-armed men.)
Ave Maria
NEXT WEEK: they never got a licence
CREDITS: Adolf Hitler was gay, had one ball, and was Jewish. His ball is in the museum of tolerance. Haha
20100609 ~01:14PM-~01:35PM

109 GARCIA'S ANNIVERSARY
OPENING: Dangle indescent exposure
Smile: They're gonna fight again.
LOL: If my arm was long enough I would have slapped the children too.
LOL: He went through the other door.
Smile: Dora the Explorer Pinata.
LOL: Bendejo. Fuck you! Who's bigger now.
LOL: Dora on the ground.
Haha: Stealing. Penis. Stealing. Penis.
Haha: You'll never get me alive bitches.
Smile: James Espaldo Garcia's daughter Trina.
Haha: Dangle paid 80 bucks.
Smile: 11 beers and a couple cosmopolitans
CREDITS: Whippets? Starting from driving. "I haven't done whippets in a coon's age." I don't get it
20100609 ~03:26PM-~03:47PM

Deputy Raineesha Williams (Niecy Nash) (E101)

110 BURNING MAN FESTIVAL
OPENING: vanity plate: iwoulddoforyou
Spell it.
We should not have asked the retarded guy.
Do you guys have any cash on you?
Where's your bride?
CREDITS: weren't funny
20100609 ~12:52PM-~01:13PM

111 DANGLE'S MOVING DAY
OPENING: Lol Wiegel and Dangle, Fly or bee.
Haha: they're shooting paintballs at the paintball guy
Smile: Terry again
WIKI 102's Dildo attached to his head happens.
You don't know me!
LOL: He just moved like hardly down the block.
?: I'll try anything once.
Haha: Their alien UFO prank
NEXT WEEK: dangle can't walk, vivian, pinochio's older brother shadow.
CREDITS: I didn't understand... it ended with Wiegel saying "It's gas"
20100609 ~10:03PM-~10:24PM

112 TERRORIST TRAINING (PART 1)
OPENING: the criminal gets the camera from the camera man
Lol: They're trying the "detergent"
Smile: Anthrax.

Deputy Sven Jones (Cedric Yarbrough)

Haha: It symbolizes anthrax.
Gross: he tasted the Dr. Scholl's.
Haha: Capt. D. Hernandez washes down Wiegel.
Haha: Right in the nuts.
Haha: It's a T for tolerance. Team.
LOL: The one dude got burnt.
Lt. S. Kim.
LOLOL: Through affirmative action.
LOL: The black one (which dog to shoot)
Smile: Can you feel my hand touching your face (in his accent)
Whoa: Trudy Wiegel at 13:00. (Dwayne Hernandez)
Haha: References her sclerosis, and says, "Je ne se quois"
ooo: (Susy) She swims 2 miles naked.
Clementine's mom
Smile: DDEoD dark dude eating oriental delights
Smile: 19:00 ish. See her face react to Jones.
CREDITS: Back to Hernandez and Kim. Hernandez goes on about something, I don't exactly follow. But the way he said it is a chuckle
20100609 ~03:48PM-~04:11PM

113 TERRORIST TRAINING (PART 2)
Smile: It's just a skunk.
Haha -> LOL: Hernandez captures skunk with noises
Haha: sobriety tests
Haha: Are you a dancer? No I'm just drunk.
Smile: Ass breathe. - Lt. Susy Kim
Haha: Dangle and Williams @ Luggage
Haha: Self-defense, leverage
Smile: Send back the soup if you don't like it.
LOL: Sammy Heung and "Spanish Mike" Alvarez
LOL: I tried to bleep him. - Jones
CREDITS: Smile: Haha, does jacking off to a dude if you didn't know make you gay...
LOL: Bullshit buddy.
20100609 ~10:25PM-~10:46PM

Lieutenant Dangle and Deputy James Garcia (Carlos Alazraqui)

114 HALLOWEEN (PART 1)
2: Smile: A human penis in a spaghetti bowl
2=20160722

201 DANGLE'S PROMOTION (PART 2)
1: LOL: Kenny Rogers dream.
2: Previous episode (114) was apparently a dream in a dream
1: New intro.
1: Actress who plays Wiegel is now listed as Kerri Kenney-Silver
1: Haha: they didn't chase the camera man (streakers)
1: Haha: OMG The bike again...
1,2: Haha: Official Reno Police Bike
1: LOLOL: put the dog down
1: LOLOLOL: the guy jumped on the trampoline and then bounced off over the cop car
1,2: LOL: Even if its Chinese - Williams
1: LOL: Trudy the Clown, gun
1: Smile: Colors, Mexican, Irish
1: Aww: No promotion for Lt. Dangle
1: CREDITS: Eh, Jones gives Dangle an apology.
1=20100609 ~10:47PM-~11:08PM
2=20160722

202 WIEGEL'S NEW BOYFRIEND
OPENING: Lol they're upside down
Smile: 911
Haha: 'F' you. 'F' you. and Bleep you. - Trudy Wiegel.
LOL: The sheriff's computer. TOo much porn. Not google...
Haha: Lol either its a rip off of Dennis Quaid in Frequency or Encyclopedia Brown novel... haha
Haha: I feel like I might make it another year - Wiegel
Haha: Frenquency... - Firefighter
Smile: They take the kids' go cart after scaring them away.
LOL: If all four people get at the intersection at the same time, GNR gun it and run it.
LOL: Williams kicked the table down.
Smile: He'd cut my head off and eat it if he had to... That's love... - Wiegel
Haha: Are you gonna be a drama queen everytime you see a body part around here? I'm gonna go jerk off.
Haha: I got death row blues.
CREDITS: Eh. Something about Toys for Bleep
20100610 ~02:00PM-~02:30PM

Garcia and Jones try to fool the camera man.  (E203)

203 BRITISH LAW
1: OPENING: LOL: They're just making noise for the camera behind the fence
1: Haha: "Take a lift to the flat and have two chips" - Wiegel to all
1: Smile: Crackwenches
1: LOL: Junior gets slapped hard with leaf, then with the lotion.
1: Smile: I don't think the cops will be coming again any time soon. (Dropped the accent)
1,2: LOLOLOL: You get out of the car right now. LOLOLOLOLOL.
1,2: "Give us your wallet." - Constable Smiley
1: Smile: The suspect references the show in the show. And asks about Terry. Reno 911!
1: Smile: The hooker gives the Constable a good time, 2: Welcome to America.
1: Smile: The black guy can see
1,2: LOLOL: Get out of your fucking wheel chair so he can talk to you.
1: LOL: Jelopy and rapes the shit out of them - Wiegel
1,2: LOL: Charades "Bass taping" i.e. "Ass raping"
2: It's unclear to me how they could pull off charades if they couldn't hear each other.
1: CREDITS: Back to the dog having sex with the other dog. But here its obvious its a camera moving up and dog while the dog in vie wis just standing there.
1=20100610 ~03:30PM-~03:54PM
2=20160722

204 DANGLE'S WIFE VISITS
OPENING: Lol, Garcia's aim is off like crazy
Haha: The Purple Zebra
Haha: "You don't know me"
Haha: Everybody is eavesdropping. Oh right, after the wife thing, i forgot that Dangle is gay.
LOLOL: "You're just trying to show off your vagina and that's not gonna do anything" - Wiegel to Clementine
Haha: THe same appliance that hit Junior
LOL: They drive away from the crazy lady
LOLOL: The legs of the helicopter come off
Smile: Klu Klux Klan changed to Klu Sux Klan
LOL: Are you immune to mace!? - Williams to the DnD player
Next week: time slushee and the guy left in the car, dangle comes out nude asking why there's a pair of undies in the sink
CREDITS: Dangle, his wife, and his wife's boyfriend
20100610 ~03:00PM-~03:30PM

Wiegel and Johnson
205 RELIGION IN RENO
OPENING: LOL: Testing a bullet proof armor on a real person. Shot the leg clear off.
Smile: No swearing. Get it out now. Bleep bleep bleep bleep. "Balls" - Wiegel
Haha: Hooker heaven. Is it that new bagel place - Wiegel. I'm not deaf - Wiegel
Haha: Thank you Jesus! - Hooker
?: Free lemonade for N******
Haha: the one dude blends his hand in the blender
LOL: You went like that, and i didn't know if you meant the Lord or you.
LOL: When is it gonna be on? (then she flashes them and acts crazy)
Smile: Amazing grace...
Haha: Tossing salads
LOL: Tossing salad
LOL: You're gonna have to toss some of the bigger guys salad.
Smile: Some folks say its worse than rape. Some say better.
LOL: No thanks I don't like salad.
Smile: They got locked in
Smile: #1's only.
20100610 ~01:30PM-~02:00PM

206 FIRE FIGHTERS ARE JERKS
1A: OPENING: Testing the bullet proof vest again. Junior shoots the helmet and it richochets to another officer's neck.
1A: Haha: Ain't no law about wearing pants... Ain't no law about doing drugs...
1A: Haha: Is the Pope friends with Mel Gibson?
1A: Smile: The pantyhouse? My legs get cold.
1A: end at 9 minutes
1B: Haha: lol dog, baby, dog runs back in
1B: Trudy, Floyd, Garcia, Dangle, Jones, Williams, Junior
1B: Haha: Set off fire alarm
1B: Smile: Water rains on them.
1B: Smile: LINE DANCING!
1A=20100610 ~04:01PM-~04:10PM first 10
1B=20100610 ~09:35PM-~09:46PM last 11

Deputy Travis Junior (Robert Ben Garant)  (E203)

207 NOT WITHOUT MY MUSTACHE
OPENING: HB Trudy.
Haha: Loaded rifle. Flies away
Aww: You have a very light mustache
Smile: TT (Funeral)
Haha: TT starts humping Jones after hugging him
Haha: Who was that? - TT asking Jones and Garcia about the deceased dude
Smile: Robot.
Smile: It's the guy from the Big Bang Theory! (he comes again in WIKI 210) He comes with the Jewish bit like from BBT!
Smile: They're asking the milkshake dude to sign their petition
Old: Junior gets hit by the door as the guy drives off.
Haha: Brother and sister kiss.
Gross (Dangle says "Do not dry hump")
Haha: Asking the Dungeon and Dragon guys to sign the petition (from WIKI 204)
Smile: Need the 'stache for mystery.
Haha: Junior turned in his badge and gun to keep his 'stache.
Next week: Mustaches are mandatory, Terry cut his shirt, Dangle performing one-man band. Haha: first was okay, Terry was unsurprising now, and Dangle's song was funny
CREDITS: Wiegel does terrible charades, she mouthed the answer.
20100611 ~01:51AM-~02:12AM

208 SECURITY FOR KENNY ROGERS
OPENING: Lol, they only put so much gas in, but the guy loads it into a van. Haha
Haha: He's like the black Lionel Richie - Wiegel about Kenny Rogers.
SMile: Quick draw buys lunch. (Dangle is last to draw)
Fuck: #9 fell down...
Smile: Lol it was right after all... haha...
Haha: Wiegel the decoy gets to take the limo
Haha: Dynomite... Dynomite...
LOL: The two pool players haggled Dangle and Junior (one looks like Lt. Susy Kim)
Haha: The drunk guy with "Insert Balls here" and "Honk if you like my ass"
Haha: Aww... "The doors have been open for two hours." - Wiegel to Kenny
LOLOL: The guy is blind. He was black... white... left or right... LOL
Haha: I need someone to protect me... from you guys. - Kenny to Wiegel and Garcia.
LOLOL: Did you just kiss me because I looked like kenny Rogers. All sorts of awkward. (Wiegel and Garcia)
CREDITS: Wiegel talking to Kenny about singing and one jazz dance class. Smile.
20100610 ~02:30PM-~03:00PM

(E203)

209 MORE FBI HELP
OPEING: LOL: Happy Birthday!
smile: @FBI dude, Hardcastle
Smile: I'm dying... I'm dying...
Haha: The hospital gives them to you when you don't have any money.
LOL: the piece of equipment falls on Junior
LOL: WHen I know nothing, the possibilities are limitless
Smile: No, you bleep them.
Smile: Haha, I'm okay...
Smile: I'm dying... I'm dying...
Smile: Hardcastle playing on GBA SP
Haha: You're 55 minutes late.
Haha: Hardcastle hands Dangle a bottle of pee.
LOL: I'm Pan. (Hardcastle blows into test tubes)
LOL: Wiegel - Terry I faxed those pictures of your wie...
LOLOL: Merry Christmas - Reno Police Dept
Haha: Where's my car? (Dangle and Wiegel just helped a man who played the racist card.) [almost predictable]
Haha: If you take credit... if you... You're sort of a terrorist. - Hardcastle
CREDITS: The dying dude was Not funny.
20100610 ~01:00PM-~01:30PM

210 RAINEESHA X
OPENING: smile, they're waiting for someone and then they peed on each other (Jones and Garcia)
Haha: I don't know entirely what to make of that whole religious thing, cause Dangle was like... so are you quitting... and then...
Smile: Gay cop, slut cop.
Smile: Gay cop says party's over
Smile: God like a phone plan.
Smile: Raineesha feel asleep on the mat.
LOL: the guy from Big Bang Theory! He takes Garcia and Jones gun.
Smile: JOnes cops a feel
Smile: Wiegel keeps shooting out numbers
LOL: the one kind of muslims want to kill white people and the other kind want to kill everybody else
Smile: They chase after the Jehovah witneses
Haha: Dangle and Trudy blowing each other. Lol knock over the table
Smile: TT (Wedding)
OOO: BUSTED...
CREDITS: Wah-wah... Eeeeerrr... - Wiegel and Dangle. Haha.
20100611 ~01:29AM-~01:50AM

Inspector Martin Smiley (left, Tom Bolster) and Deputy Garcia (E203)

211 CLEMENTINE AND GARCIA ARE DATING
1A: OPENING: Dangle comes in and says don't open it. We know they can't resist. They open it. Dangle pops up. Gotcha...
1A: LOL: The lady jumped off the building and onto a car
1B: Lol: Junior asks Garcia "Did you get a bleep job too?"
1B: Smile: Wiegel you take the back. - Dangle to Wiegel
1B: Layin Down the Law
1B: Smile: The 1/16 indian dude.
1B: C.O.P. Reno SP.
1B: Smile: Jonesy I give you some
1B: OOO: We can do it right later. Right now let's just do this wrong. Let's just do this wrong...
1B: Aww: My back.
1B: LOL: Oh, nice work bleepholes. - Mike opens the police car door. Which dangle and junior thought was closed
1B: LOL: If I hada FICA score that was above 480.
1B: Eww: Somebody pooped in the donation
1B: LOLOL: Poop on Dangles face.
1B: Smile: Why don't you shave your legs you stupid whore - Clementine recalling talkking to her mom
1B: HAHA: She bribed the guy to remove her picture, to not post a fake sex offender sign
1B: Haha: Junior - #5, could you please step forward and sing supercalifragilisticexpialadocious
1B: The end was confusing
1B: CREDITS: LOL - someone this has made me hungry for tacos - Wiegel about the poop cleaning
1A=20100610 ~03:55PM-~04:00PM first 5
1B=20100611 ~02:13AM-~02:23AM next 10 minutes
1C=20100611 ~01:35PM-~01:46PM last 15 minutes

212 GARCIA'S DRUG STAKEOUT
Haha. Internet websites.
Haha. Sometimes you gotta speak their language.
LOL. How much time did that kill? About an hour.
Haha. They put a hot dog up my butt.
LOL. Trudy smells her hands after doing the hand farts.
LOLOLOL. Mine smells like Cheetos. That's cause I just farted.
LOL. No it's not BINGO it's a word game.
Haha. DWG - Dead White Guy.
Smile. Barracuda.
20120126 ~02:36AM-~03:00AM

Wiegel's boyfriend Craig Pullin (Kyle Dunnigan)

213 PRESIDENT BUSH IN RENO
Smile: Suspended - Dnagle to Wiegel
Haha: Monkey drinking beer
Haha: Junior and Clementine took a picture with the monkey
Smile: Jones and Garcia listened to opposite sides of the Civil War reenactment.
LOL: Who? - Junior what? - Dangle Back and forth... Haha, then Junior remembers the question.
Smile: I got a frog playing the banjo on my boob.
Haha: Then they drive by...
Smile: The lady with the dog and alcohol.
LOL: Ma'am are your dogs passing wind right now? - Garcia. No that's me. - lady
LOLOL: Be square. (They stand and smile)
Smile: Dangle missed the president because he went poop.
Probability of his bike missing
Haha: The USMO guy was meeting Garcia.
Smile: You know Garcia isn't on the <inaudible>. USMO's response.
Haha: Opposite of his bike missing, extra chained.
Haha: Andrew - You got no business here.
Haha: Governments crumble but art rebuilds.
Smile: Johnson takes off a piece for every question she gets wrong.
NEXT WEEK: Dangle sings an Irish song about death, Dangle and Junior upside down, Terry, Terry escapes, some sort of party call ("unless you're getting paid")
CREDITS: Dangle and the USMO.
20100611 ~06:18PM-~06:39PM

214 ACCIDENTAL MARRIAGE (PART 1)
OPENING: Clementine. Test bullet proof vest on dummy. Lol it goes right through the vest.
Haha: "suspended suspended suspended suspended... suspended" (Williams, Jones, Garcia, Johnson, Junior)
dept of internal affairs. dude
Haha: The dnd guys again. He failed his saving throw, so that's when the arrow comes in.
Smile: Boots of escaping, shot in the leg
LOL: I'm only 24 years old and I want to die.
HAHA: the drug and naked guy again. Drink down. "Make up your mind"
Haha: they swapped a loaded gun with a toy
Haha: bleepsucker.
LOLOL: The milkshake man's straw above the water
Haha: Ohh... it makes more sense... he says he doesn't feel any of the beating. Fake push. And then gets hit.
Haha: How did he get thrown out...
Ahh: Junior's neck brace
CREDITS: Aww, they can't pronounce her name.
20100611 ~01:47PM-~02:08PM

Public Service Announcement

215 MILKSHAKE MAN'S DEATH (PART 2)
OPENING: Jones and Garcia beat up the cup and the cup gets crushed by the truck, shown on ch 10 news
Low Dangle runs; Haha "That's fireline you can't stand there"
Haha: Williams snitches on everybody for no reason. And also false accusations.
Haha: You got served.
LOL: It gets funny when they watch the weasel long enough
Smile: Junior can't see, doesn't wear glasses. Best shot in the dept. That's saying something about the other officers.
Smile: Back to the weasel. Lol, shot Junior.
Haha: Trudy Wiegel - You mean that I did it?
Haha: No, not so well. - Trudy Wiegel.
Next week: dangle, johnson, garcia, jones
CREDITS: Chicawa, proud people
20100610 ~08:27PM-~08:48PM

216 INVESTIGATION CONCLUDED (PART 3)
1TT: Dangle's balls
1TT: Eye raping
1TT: Malaysian
2: "Can you make me look like Ashanti?"
1CB: "Are you mad at me?" - Terry
1TT: "Uh oh spaghettio" - Terry
1TT: HAHA: hold the cardboard - Garcia to Jones, community service
1TT: The radiator
1TT: I want Wiegel for traffic school
1CB: They are going to sell each other out
1CB: Father-Son
1TT: Choke the white out of me
1CB: OJ Kobe Jonese
1CB: "Probably... you know... kill myself or something" - Wiegel
1CB: Jim Cringle
1TT: The new team is the same mixture as the previous team
1TT: Wayne Brandy!
1TT: The credits refer to the new people as New Williams, New Jones, New Dangle, etc.
1TT: New Dangle is Martin Mull
1=20100610 ~08:50PM-~09:13PM CB
2=20160722

301 RELEASED FROM PRISON
1: NEXT WEEK: Game, dig your own grave, if anybody dangle
1: CREDITS: Hey carl, hey missy, comin miss clementine
2: Haha, I would assume its poking fun at the way Season 1 ended and Season 2 began.
2: Wiegel shows a bit of teeth
2: "Shawshank"
2: Several guys escaping in the background. But they jump back in when one of them notices the camera.
2: Haha: "You know we watch you ever single night at 10. Every single night, boys jack off to you. Good to meet you though." [wants to shake her hand, but she avoids it]
1=20100611 ~08:25AM-~08:46AM CB
2=20160723

Terry Bernadino (Nick Swardson)

302 REVENGE OF MIKE POWERS
1: PREVIOUSLY ON RENO 911!: Recap all the deputies at their new jobs
1,2: LOL: The cable is still plugged in
2: Haha: "You know how it's fun to stay [at the YMCA]?" "It's not?" "NO it is!" [...]
2: It's Champ from Anchorman! (David Koechner)
2: Possible reference to SE7EN: "How would you like your head in a box?"
1: Question: Why does Joe still follow them around?
2: I never noticed that Jim doesn't like Wiegel.
2: Mike Powers doesn't pay any attention to Joe.
1: LOL: "Is it okay if I sing a question then?"
1: THIS SEASON ON RENO 911! - Eddie, resucitate Mike, paintballing, son of a bitch she tricked me, Junior under Hummer, mace on Williams, Craig, motorcycle, only one of you will be added, party, something, Wiegel yells "Take that you commie!"
1: CREDITS: Dangle talking to contestant
1=20100615 ~01:56AM-~02:06AM
1=20100615 ~11:30PM-~11:47PM
2=20160723

303 COP SCHOOL NF302
Sound off
Sir Yes Sir
only one is current budget
LOL 6'2" get out of here
LOLOLOLOL the one to beat gets hit by a car
Lol the look of the pregnant women in the background
(Frisbee's wife)
welcome Deputy Kimball
credits were okay
1A=20100611 ~08:47AM-~08:52AM
1B=20100611 ~08:52AM-~09:13AM CB

The group stands and awaits the result of the Police Review Board.

304 SARS OUTBREAK
Opening: Garcia think they're pranking them, "There ain't no cyanide truck"
Haha: reading Ron
LOL: he stepped on a beach ball and contracted aids
LOL: Tissues in Clemy's breasts
haha: wiegel - two gays or two lesbians
LOL: good news the lady wolfpack is ahead
Haha: Wiegel - Let's get it over with.
LOL: Wiegel farted
LOL: BUt they're underage. (Regarding pregnant women shooting each other with ak47)
Haha: These take me back. - Ron
Smile: Firefighters
CREDITS: Haha, Reading Ron and the Radish.
20100614 ~10:22AM-~10:44AM

305 FASTEST CRIMINAL IN RENO
OPENING: "We need to start wearing our seatbelts man" - Jones
those of us who weren't raised by gta applause after we hear a song
CREDITS: talking to the gansters "is it in this pocket..."
20100611 ~09:14AM-~09:35AM CB

306 THE PREFECT OF WANGANUI
opening: haha, oh baby i'm already hung. then he starts choking in the background
Haha: ewongadoey - chinese
[Four extras in the back]
Predictable: Obviously they took the wrong guy
Smile: The husband of the couple is on Big Bang Theory.
Note: The wife is named Phylis like nf304, Ron's wife was Phylis.
Haha: They have the kid.
Haha: Ku Klux Kisses
Haha: Heywood Jebroni. Bend Over. ... Ham Burgler.
Smile: Keep the peace in your own streets and shoot people who are Americans.
Smile: Didn't see that coming (the two girls stealing the car)
Haha: Allergic to latex?
CREDITS: Clemy - "I'm this close to really laying one on ya. Okay? cause It's tempting It's tempting but i think it's the cheeto crumbs in your beard, but i have to say not today." I'm missing CB, Clemy's voice intonation reminded me of CB.
20100614 ~10:45AM-~11:07AM

Jones and Garcia working as mall security guards

307 ...AND THE INSTALLATION IS FREE
opening: cyanide again! ether... haha
haha: wiegel and dangle
haha: "And the installation is free...."
Haha: Junior bought the Arby's
Smile: Paintball guy again
Smile: Momma's gonna teach you a lesson
Haha: Back to the special bulletin with Clemy and Kimball. "YOu're on the air"
LOLOL: Step out the vehicle, Junior dodges the door. gets kicked by the driver.
LOL: Turtle
Aww: one-time
Haha: emergency...
HAHA "I want to go to a strip club... Yes... yes.." - Jones in a sniffling voice
CREDITS: Check out your local library
20100615 ~12:35AM-~12:57AM

308 CLEMMY MARIES A DEAD GUY
OPENING: Haha Trudy had it all down, then the transplant falls out, then she reverses over it and says she forgot.
LOL: Bidding on monkey bleep. $402 for Junior's. LOLOL: Welcome to the force.
LOL: Garcia and Williams sitting next to the piano.
Haha: I wish this piano would play something romantic.
Haha: Garcia gets his wish
Police Tek 2000 bullet proof vests
Haha: Dangle - I didn't feel a thing
Liberace's Piano
Haha: the man in the dog suit wouldn't get off
CREDITS: Please don't rape me please don't rape me. - Wiegel
1A=20100614 ~11:33AM-~11:40AM
1B=20100614 ~08:52PM-~09:07PM

Deputy Cherisha Kimball (Mary Birdsong)

309 GARCIA'S SECRET GIRLFRIEND
OPENING: Cup, haha, Junior didn't wear it yet
Smile: Junior wants to blow up the cop car next
LOL: your pad is suppose to go in the front
Haha: Terry
Haha: Bachelorette's Last Night Out
Haha Police Tek 2000 Blanks
Hmmm... wonder what the plot twist to this one will be...
LOL: Conjugal visit "We can't hit you with this right?" - Wiegel
Ahh: It was his sister
CREDITS: haha "Stop bleeping off in the men's room." The detectives division can here. haha
20100615 ~12:12AM-~12:34AM

310 DANGLE'S SON
Haha - that's the one I used a couple times
LOL: Junior falls out
LOL: Clemy offs Rainesha and Rainesha strangles Clemy.
WTF, haha: I stuck a finger in.
Haha: 5 cents for every... $1.00 - Jones.
LOL We're out of gas
Haha: Drag show... it wasn't just regular ladies apparently - Dangle
Haha: Brothel inspector.
LOL: This is as far as I can open my door - Raineesha
Haha: Junior goes under Hummer
CREDITS: Dangle playing basketball
20100614 ~11:10AM-~11:32AM

311 CSI: RENO
1: OPENING: Water pistol. Common sense. Microphone electrucuted. Haha Junior.
1: LOL: SECURITY! - Wiegel. This is why we don't let you have 7 donuts usually. - Dangle
1: Haha: I got two shoes, one sock, and i got my titty
1: Haha: Junior and pulling someone off.. The people in the truck come out and steal everything.
1: LOL: You know it must be coming if they're telling everybody not to call the cops if they hear gunfire
1: LOLOLOL: Wiegel's story gets the criminal to give his statement
1: LOLOL: When Wiegel starts laughing I started laughing.
1: LOL: Cart-jacked... I don't push it like that...
1,2: LOLOLOL: Why not do what I do... Age of Consent State by State - Garcia
1,2: LOLOLOLOL: 14 in Idaho! - Junior
1,2: LOLOL: Why not be sure every time
1: LOL: "Taste it" - Dangle (cold towel)
1: LOL: If you put a burger in a toaster it'll say happy birthday
1: LOLOLOL: "I got you a cookie, you don't have to be pissed off [...] Good cause it fell on the ground." - Wiegel
1: Smile: Wiegel gets a job for messing around
1: CREDITS: A female working on the set hits on Kimball.
1=20100615 ~11:48PM-~12:12PM
2=20160723

Terry

312 NAKED STAKE-OUT
1: OPENING: Elevator down. Elevator up.
1: LOL: first discussing... then Dangle - Kimball are you lesbian?
1,2: LOLOL: Wiegel - "Suck his dick suck his dick!"
1: Haha: Terry confessed to Jones
1: LOL: The driver popped the hood of his big rig. "We're gonna play Memoirs of a Geisha now..."
1,2: LOLOL: "I never made out with a mannequin... {takes a drink} I have to drink because I have." - Wiegel
1,2: LOLOLOL: {nonchalantly} "If you see him and he's with my daughter, I'd like to have her back."
1: LOL: {through catholic school} FBI, nothing to see, FBI.
1,2: Police Tek 2000 commercial; 2: Haha: a great episode
1: Body Guard
1: Smile: Yahoo's like you with your hands up my skirt. Haha drinking water bit.
2: LOLOL: "You're sitting on my dick." "Oh, is that what that is?"
1: Haha: Dangle and Junior jumped into a biker area.
1: Haha: They get a ride in from two bikers.
1: CREDITS: Memoirs of a Geisha.
1=20100615 ~12:13PM-~12:39PM
2=20160723

313 WIEGEL AND CRAIG GET MARRIED
OPENING: Craig to die
Haha: Wiegel - Oh No you didn't
Smile: Literally "Don't bleep with me." - Kimball to Jones
Haha: Kimball bagged the kid
Haha: For a second there I thought you was a fag - Junior to the secretary
LOL: Dangle tased Garcia. Then himself
LOL: Garcia kissed Dangle. "WTF"
LOL: And then the state of nevada killed one of those birds - Craig to Trudy
LOL: Chess joke that doesn't plan out and it just goes "okay bleep let's just do this"
NEXT SEASON ON RENO 911!: Firefighters free open the car
CREDITS: Just a time lapse of a street view
20100615 ~01:33AM-~01:55AM

401 WIEGEL'S PREGNANT
Lol, when the guy drove the motorcycle off the top and exploded I literally shouted out "What the #@CK!?"
Hahaha, they're arguing about good cop, bad cop.
HAHAHAHA all the guys have donated sperm
20110215 ~04:17PM-~04:38PM

Williams and Dangle

402 THE JUNIOR BROTHERS
1: HAHAHA. "If anybody asks, I have cancer."
1: Wait... his nickname is Rooster because he #$*% a chicken!?!
1: LOLOLOLOLOLOL The punchline to the no cussing song is hilarious.
1: Haha. Grocery shopping.
1: LOLOLOLOL This is the same hair as on my.
1: Smile. Taco Taco.
2: They're just watching Nascar.
1: Haha. Touch it.
1: Haha. Stupid Garcia.
1,2: Paul Rudd! (lamaze instruction)
1: Haha Guy Gerricault
2: Put's on South Park. "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!"
2: References Wizard of Oz.
1=20120126 ~11:31AM
2=20160723

403 JET SKI BLUES
2: Smile: She got them!
2: Paul Rudd's back!
2: "I'd really appreciate it if you could grab my balls."
2: The driver rams Joe
2: If I were to guess, he already moved the jetski to safety [Yay, I was right!]
2: LOLOLOL: The jetski...
2=20160623

404 RICK'S ON IT
Hahahaha. Panty Raid!
Hahaha. $15.
Hahahaha. He's still alive.
LOLOLOLOLOL. Guy on the floor and then cash register again.
Smile. They want free tacos from Terry
Smile. Episode punchline
20120126 ~11:54AM

The group rush Wiegel to the hospital; she's in labor while stuck in a fake cake

405 SPANISH MIKE RETURNS
1.2: Yep, definitely saw this one already.
1.2: Smile, the ridiculous Renaissance guy
1.2: Haha, fires gun
1.2: LOL. You passed the audition and you're all going to jail.
1.2: Hahaha. They let the women pass and go after Ted Nugent.
1.2: Smile. Took the bullets out. You son of a bitch.
1.2: LOL. Tsk, if you're going to yell.
1.2: Maybe I will and maybe I won't. And he punched me in the face.
1.2: Oh right, I forgot until 19:45. That's hilarious.
1.2: P.J. Byrne. Oh he's from Dinner for Schmucks (2010) and Horrible Bosses (2011).
1.1=20110215 ~05:03PM-~05:25PM
1.2=20120126 ~01:23PM

406 SON OF A CHECKEKEVITCH (PART 1)
Smile @ Bike
LOLOL. Why are we from the JC Penney Catalogue
What? Haha Trudy's sign language interpreting and uh... haha weird.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. It's obvious he was spelling DRUG, but it's hilarious when he finishes with "What does that spell?"
First song:
"D" stands for do you hear His voice?
"R" stands for R you listening?
"U" stands for understand that
"G" stands for God.
What does that spell?
Second song:
God made rainbows, god made... [and I like it]
I like rainbows
God made trees [I like trees]
God made mushrooms [I like mushrooms]
Do you like mushrooms? [I like mushrooms]
Let's get some mushrooms, oh, oh, yeah, let's get high on God
Third song:
You gotta smoke, snort, inject or swallow,
Get in touch with God today, smoke, snort, inject or swallow
Did you forget? Let's count the ways.
And then it repeats, uh, right after that.
Guy Gerricault (Paul Rudd) is back!
20120126 ~12:15PM


407 THE INVESTIGATION CONTINUES (PART 2)
2: Nature's Oddity
2: Smile: "Fisting" - Guy Gerricault
2: Smile: Clearly doesn't make sense to have a boyfriend right after your husband died.
2: Smile: Junior's dream.
2: Smile: Petroleum jelly.
2=20160723

408 THE DEPARTMENT GETS A CORPORATE SPONSOR
Hahaha How stupid, points to his mistress.
Hahahahaha Dangle loves the new uniform.
Oh they beat them up at the end. That's where the little bit at the opening credits comes from.
20120126 ~12:39PM

409 CHRISTIAN SINGLES' MIXER
LOLOLOLOLOL @12:47 when the car blows up
Hahaha Expected but still slightly funny (that Clementine isn't wearing anything under her baptism robe)
Rudd! Haha kegel!
LOLOLOLOLOL He gets right in there to check.
20120126 ~01:01PM

410 PROPOSITION C
Haha on the Prop C outcome.
20110215 ~05:27PM-~05:48PM

411 RENO MOUNTIES
LOLOLOL Scratch it.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL The offensive painting in the museum window as they leave
Smile. Chest grab.
Hahaha @14:45 when Jones falls off
Haha. Coffee machine.
20120126 ~01:46PM

Wiegel and her Lamaze instructor Guy Gerricault (Paul Rudd)

412 HODGEPODGE
Hahaha. I kissed my cousin once. I was 32.
Schwettedpetta. Finnish.
Hahahaha. That's cruel. (Laser)
Haha. 6 or 7 hours.
Smile. Thriller.
Smile. That's a new one. Dog leashed to his bike.
20120126 ~02:08PM

413 EX-WIFE AND HER NEW HUSBAND
LOLOLOL I can feel a numbing sensation. Right around here.
Haha. That one's funny cause it happens. When you're friend asks if you've heard a joke, and you know the punch line and then the original person who asked doesn't know if he/she should tell it anymore.
Hehe. Awkward? Double awkward.
Haha. His co-worker.
Oh shit. "That's sweating? I thought you were at a water park."
Smile. Getting screwed on the ashes.
20120126 ~02:48PM

414 DANGLE'S WEDDING (PART 1)
1,2: Haha, Braveheart (1995).
1, 2: John Ross Bowie! (who I first knew from The Big Bang Theory)
1: Smile. I want to go to the Renaissance Fair.
1: Zach Galifianakis! I didn't realize until today that he plays the character Frisbee.
2: "Or even better, don't look at us at all."
1: Smile. They could have covered her.
2: Huh. I definitely didn't remember that. (Garcia coming out and ruining Jim's wedding)
1: Hahaha. What the #$%^ was that?
1: The end credits don't contain any gag reals. Just a time lapse of the building.
1=20120126 ~03:12PM
2=20160723

Chronological Viewing Record: (In BOLD is the (correct) episode number followed by the (incorrect) Netflix episode number.)
20100609 101,NF101; 110,NF102; 108,NF103; 102,NF104; 105,NF106; 104,NF107; 106,NF108; 107,NF109; 109,NF110; 112,NF111; 111,NF112; 113,NF114
20100610 201,NF201; 209,NF202; 205,NF203; 202,NF204; 208,NF205; 204,NF206; 203,NF208; 1stquarterof211,NF211; 1sthalfof206,NF207; 215,NF213; 216,NF215; 2ndhalfof206,NF207
20100611 210,NF209; 207,NF210; 2nd3rdquarterof211,NF211; 2nd3rd4thquarterof211,NF211; 214,NF212; 213,NF216,C; 301,NF301,C; 303,NF302,C; 305,NF303,C

Kimball and Dangle

20100614 304,NF304; 306,NF305; 310,NF306; 308,NF307;
20100615 309,NF308; 307,NF309; 313,NF310; 302,NF311; 311,NF312; 312,NF313;
20110215 401,NF401; 405,NF402; 410,NF403;
20120126 212; 402; 404; 406; 408; 409; 405; 411; 412; 413; 414;
20160722 101; 103; 114; 201; 203; 216;
20160723 302; 301; 311; 312; 402; 403; 407;

Checklist: (A number means I've seen the episode and three X's mean I have not.)
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114
201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216
301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313
401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414
XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX
XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX XXX

Comedy Legend:
Smile < Haha < LOL < LOLOL < LOLOLOL < ... Smile is approximately just a smile. Haha could be a small chuckle or thought of laughing LOL can be short burst of laughter or a stronger than a haha LOLOL and longer LOL's represent the approximate duration and/or strength of laughter


(Netflix, Instant)
Reno 911! (2003-2009)

Relevant Links:
Reno 911! (IMDb.com)
Reno 911! (Wikipedia.org)

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